Waiting to Exhale! part one.

And finally…I Exhaled!

One of my favorite movies!

It’s been a long time coming. For the last two years, I’ve been inhaling and inhaling – the disappointment, the hurt, the pain, the negative urges… Oh, the things I wanted to say and the things I wanted to do – but never acted on – well, except for those few times I allowed myself to stoop. Those were the times I exhaled a little. But those exhales weren’t filled with relief; they were filled with the hurt, pain, and anger that I wanted to release. And yet, I still  found myself hurting. And so goes my journey to truly exhale…

I was hurting on the inside from something that was done to me. Initially, I responded in a positive way, but somewhere along the [communication] lines things got negative. “What about my hurt and my pain,” I thought. “What about the things that were said and done to me”? “Did anyone think about my feelings”? “Did anyone care”? I believe that actions speak louder than words. First, the actions were foul – and now, so were the words. So, I retaliated [verbally].

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If You Really Knew Me

“If You Really Knew Me” is a TV show about breaking down barriers between students in high schools. It inspired me to write this post. What if we, as young men and young women, start working together to break down the barriers between us?! What if we start being the change that we want to see in generations to come?!

Looking at a situation from different perspectives and considering another person’s feelings is not always easy – especially when our own feelings are involved. However, after going through my own experiences and starting my journey as a budding counselor, I know that it IS possible! I’m aware that some people will be with me on this, and some people won’t. That’s Okay! My purpose in writing this is to give you something to think about. And I’m doing it in my own special way, so… Enjoy!

*Try to personalize this. Read it from your perspective, and then read it from another person’s perspective (maybe someone who has caused you pain OR who you’ve caused pain). It may not have the same effect on everyone, but hopefully it’ll get you to thinking…

If You Really Knew Me!

We are all different
And yet we’re still the same
We laugh
We cry
We have feelings
And we feel pain

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My Pursuit of Happiness – Obtained

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged – two months to be exact, and a lot has happened during that time. To get back into the swing of things, I’m going to do the SITS five-day “Back to Blogging Challenge”. For those who don’t know, SITS is a group of more than 7,000 women bloggers who encourage and support each other by reading and commenting on blogs. Now, this challenge started and ended last week, but I figured it’s better late than never… Right! So, for the next five days, I’ll be Getting Back to Blogging!

Day 1 of the SITS Back to Blogging Challenge: Re-upload your first post or rewrite it, giving a before and after look.   

I wrote my first blog, My Pursuit of Happiness, a little over five months ago. So, instead of reposting it, I’m going to rewrite it with an update – I find this option appropriate with all that’s going on. [Read about My Pursuit of Happiness here].   

Shortly after I posted my first blog (like, literally 9 days later) I received notification that I was accepted into Graduate School, and four months later I would begin my journey to obtain a Masters in Counselor Education. How Continue reading

My Black is Beautiful, and so is Yours!

As I sit here and write this, I am watching the Tyra Show and today’s topic is “Bleaching for Beauty”. She’s talking to six Black women who bleach their skin because they are a darker complexion/dark skin and wish to be a lighter complexion/light skin. They feel “ugly” and inferior because of the color of their skin.    

Beauty and what it means to be beautiful has been an ongoing issue with people in general, but more specifically with women – from young girls, to teens, to young and older women. Well, for some women in the Black community this issue runs deep – skin deep. To them, beauty is defined by the complexion of their skin. And according to the women on Tyra’s show and many other women in our community, Black is most beautiful when it is a lighter complexion, complimented by a “good” grade of long hair and a set of light-colored eyes.    

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How Do You Know?

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ~Dr. Seuss  

During my time of writer’s block, I asked Love to suggest something to write about. His suggestion: Love… “How you know when you’re in love,” he specifies. Immediately, I think back to a few days earlier when I was talking with my friend and she asked the same thing of me. “Well, I’m no expert,” I thought to myself [in both situations]. I know how I feel about it, but who am I to tell another “what is” and “what is not”.?.  “Love” is complicated enough, right!?! So I put the post off – to contemplate. Then, yesterday I read a friend’s status on Facebook where he was asking, “How do you know if it’s love or lust”. Well, this was the third time that the topic had come to my attention. So, I’m weighing in…  

Being that this post was initially suggested by Love, I asked his opinion – to give another perspective in addition to mine. Like I said before, we’re no experts. We just know how we feel about it. So, below are just a few of many ways we feel let you know when you’re in love with Love…  

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It’s Time to Say Goodbye!

Sometimes, saying Goodbye is the best thing to do.     

Last week I reached a milestone. And I must say, I’m very proud of myself. When I think about where I was this time last year; I am proud, and I am thankful for how far I have come.     

I have been tested in many ways. My faith has been tested. My strength has been tested. My patience has been tested. My character has been tested. My ability to Love, Forgive, Let Go, and find Peace has been tested. I – have truly been tested.     

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Her Journey. Her Story. My Friend.

Everybody has a story to tell.  

I was talking to a friend today, and our conversation inspired me to write this post. You see, she’s on a journey – as we all are. And recently, her journey took an unexpected turn. I suggested she start a blog [writing can be therapeutic and because her journey can inspire others]. Initially, she was apprehensive. It’s scary sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with others – I know. But then, she said something that made me think: “if only she could see herself through my eyes”. She said that she doesn’t think she has a story to tell; that her story may not be as “dark” as others. But I say everybody has a story to tell. Your story may not be like mine, and my story may not be like yours. But, it’s a story just the same. It’s a part of our journey, and it may very well help someone else through his/hers [journey]. I asked her permission to share the details of her journey and she agreed. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to share a piece of her with you, and I hope that her story inspires you as much as it inspires me!  

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